Una Palabra Sola Episode 4, el éxito
Success is a funny concept… it’s treated as an objective, collective striving for something but la realidad es que it’s quite subjective. It can be as simple or as complex of a feeling or ideal as you’d like. And success in language? Oof… you’ll just need to listen to the full episode ⬇️
El éxito: (n) success
Male gender: el éxito
Related words: la llavel del éxito (key to success), Aprovechar el éxito (enjoy success), sin éxito (failure)
Related verbs: alcanzar, lograr (to reach a goal); tener éxito (be successful)
Related adjective: exitoso, exitosa (successful)
From the Latin “exitus”, an outcome, end result, end, departure.
An outcome, by definition, has to have an ending. It’s only our emotions and expectations that define that ending as a success or a failure.
1:35: Éxito doesn’t mean an exit! (That’s la salida).
7:50: North American culture tends to think that we have something to do with our own success… the etymology of Spanish is more that success is something to be had… it’s not a personality trait.
19:05: There’s a certain power in surrendering yourself to life and its outcomes, not reacting as much as being confident that you can handle whatever comes your way.
22:57: Find un poco de orgullo, a bit of pride, and carry it with you throughout whatever ending you choose.
For reflection:
Me siento exitoso/exitosa cuando ______________.
Para mí, el éxito viene con (comes with): __________________.
When can I surrender and what can I control as it relates to my definition of success? _________________________________________________________________________________.
Write a negative thought you have. ____________________________________________________.
And reframe it to a positive one: _______________________________________________________.
Una PS has been a labor of love from the beginning. If you’d like to join our lil’ love fest via the Deseo program, click here to sign up! We all have our own wishes and desires when it comes to language, and with some resources and accountability, I can help make yours come true.
TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Hola y bienvenidos. Hello and welcome to Una Palabra Sola, where we get to learn Spanish, one word at a time. I'm your host, Megan Miller, founder and teacher at Aprovechar Language Solutions. Empezamos, and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back to Una Palabra Sola, where we get to learn Spanish, one word at a time. I'm your host, Megan Miller, and today I wanted to start by asking you what you think a stock photo image of a generic white family and a second grader have in common. And, I don't want to wait forever, so I will tell you right now what they have in common. They like to add o's at the end of words to try to make them Spanish that are not correct. So picture this, like you are, you know, at a concert or at a venue or something and everybody's like, Oh, the exit, el exito, no, uh, that is actually la salida. But today we are going to be talking about el éxito, and what it actually means.
1:27
So, es un sustantivo. It is a noun. Otro sustantivo, I know, it is another noun, for all the bajillion nouns that we have to learn to actually have a conversation with someone. And un éxito just means success. El éxito is success. So OK, my job's done. The episode's over. We're good. Éxito is not an exit. It is success. No, of course there are different ways to use éxito. So for example, you can have la llave del éxito, or the key to success, for all those professional development people out there. You can have un brindis or a toast that says, you know, a tu éxito or al éxito, right, to your success! To our success! To everybody's success. You get a success! You get a success, and you get a success! I'm gonna stop before I say something weird because my mouth is tired. Or you can aprovechar el éxito, you can enjoy success. I think that is something that we all want to do with our lives. And really the fun thing about éxito, not only is it fun to say, you have that lovely punch because there's an accent mark over the e. But it is also how we talk about cosas sin éxito, or failures, as they are known. So, synonyms of success, right? You can alcanzar, you can reach a goal. You can tener una fortuna, you can have a fortune, or be fortunate or, se puede también, tener un logro, or you can lograr something. And that is basically to just reach the next level, right, to lograr un objetivo, it's to reach a goal. Same with alcanzar. You can, alcanzar un objetivo, and that's to reach a goal. Antonyms, however, for success are some of my favorites, just because they all start with my favorite letter and that is F. So you can have un fracaso, you can fracasar, and that just means to fail. To flat out fucking fail, to have un fracaso. You can also fallar, or you can have tener un fallo and that is also a failure. Or one of my favorites, and I used this all the time when I lived in Spain, was, um, let's see, algo es un lío, if it's a lío. And I'm not talking about the zodiac sign; I'm not talking about a lion.
4:39
It is just literally L, I, con acento, O. To have un lío and un lío is just like a mess, right? Success, it can be messy, right? We can also make it messy: how we think about success, how we go after it. We tend to make that very, very messy. But un lío is like, oh, if something's just a big old mess, es un lío. So as always, it does come from a Latin word, el éxito, success. It comes from the Latin exetus, which literally means a departure, an end, an outcome, or a result. I just want to let that sink in for you a little bit. The Latin verb that el éxito, success, comes from: is departure and outcome. Or result. There's nothing about succeeding or failing in that. And actually, to succeed as a verb, is actually tener éxito. It's just to have success that that is all that to succeed is and tener is one of those verbs that a lot of times we use it when something is kind of happening to us, like, oh, tengo miedo, I'm scared. I have fear. Tengo hambre, I'm hungry. I have hunger. Tengo sed, I'm thirsty. I have thirst. So, it's just a little brain worm I want to stick in your brain really quick. When we talk about success and having that and succeeding at something, we use tener. And tener is used when something is felt with us, but it does not make us who we are. We aren't using the verbs to be with that. We aren't saying, Oh, soy existosa; I am successful permanently. That's my characteristic. Or estoy existosa, like I am temporarily, mental state of being, emotionally successful. If you do feel emotionally successful, like how the fuck did you get there? But instead, we use tener, which just means to have. So I have success the same way that I might have hunger, or the same way that I might have fear, or the same way that I might have like a belly ache. It just kind of happens. So just, you know, sticking that little earworm in there and otra vez, exit is una salida. That is una salida. It is not el éxito. El éxito, as it stands coming from success, does kind of spawn a few different questions for me because like I keep kind of harping on and repeating without saying much, is that it does come from that Latin word of a departure, or an outcome, or an end result.
7:50
And that really made me think of the emotions that we have around success. We have a lot of pride around succeeding in something. And, really, what is success? Right? Like we all have our own different versions of quote unquote hashtag winning. Uh, sometimes for me personally, that's like going to bed by 8:00 PM on a Friday. I feel very successful doing that. Others, it might be winning that paycheck, right? Getting your paycheck, asking for a raise. Really, whatever you put your mind to, whatever goals you have. Meeting those goals and then expanding even more because we're part of this hustle, hustle, hustle, go, go, go culture; and we have a lot of pride around success. We tend to think, especially in North American terms, we tend to think of success as something that we have a handle in. And the way that I love the nuance around Spanish is that it's like, no, it just kind of happens. You know, whether you succeed or not, you have it or you don't: but honestly, we aren't going to touch the characteristics. We aren't going to touch the things that make you, you; because we can still use ser or we can use estar for how you're feeling. However, success isn't kind of paramount to that identity, right? We have pride around success. Like we have some grand hand in that. Like, yeah, this is, this is all because of us. Blood, sweat, tears. And Eye of the Tiger was playing relentlessly, and you know, this, this was our doing. Yet, when we look at el opuesto or when we look at the opposite of that, and we look at failure, we have a lot of shame. We're like, “Oh shit, I fucked up.” Which are like the three worst words that you ever want to say or hear. I fucked up. Like, oh no. We have a lot of shame around, simply put, an outcome. The Latin stays the same. For once, I'm going to side with the Latin on this. Where the result happens, the outcome happens, right? By definition it has to happen. But then we put all of these expectations and emotions over something and then it becomes good or bad. It becomes black or white. It becomes something that we brag about or something that we keep to ourselves. It's only after we associate the emotions to that event that it becomes that good or bad, the two sides of the same coin. Before that, it was just like, here, here you go, Latin. Here's a coin. Do with it what you will.
10:48
So I have to ask you, what is the proudest that you have ever been of a success of something that happened, that you reached your goal, you reached your meta, you did what you wanted to do, you, you know, divided and conquered, and kicked ass, and all the other kind of very Steven Segal kind of moments here. And what about being proud of a failure? Are you proud of a failure? Were you taught to be proud of a failure? Because a lot of times we are not taught to be proud of one. We're taught to just keep that shit bottled up inside, and that's why we go to the liquor store and drink wine on Sundays. But when you look at an outcome as nothing more than an outcome, you don't put a mask on it. You don't put emotions to it. You just look at it as, yeah, so this happened. Um, okay. What can you be proud of? Because I would bet that there's something for every outcome, everything that you have worked your ass off for, that you can be proud of. Whether that quote unquote failed or succeeded is completely moot at this point. It's really looking at what went well and what didn't go well, because sometimes we can have that quote unquote success and it doesn't go well, right? It's just leading us down this path of doom and gloom because we were taught that this is how we needed to function. Whether that's climbing the corporate ladder or fighting for equal pay, or you know, hitting the polls, and going and voting or whatever it is, whatever passions drive you and drive your actions, what kind of emotions do you have around that? And do you look at it as that kind of yin or yang as a success or a failure, or is it a little bit more murky? Is it just, I don't know, a yaing. Whatever Yin plus a yang is. Yaung? Anyways. One other thing, as we talk and think about how we are, you know, experiencing or associating success with a certain thing with alcanzar, with lograr, with una fortuna, or on the opposite side, lío or un fallo, or un fracaso. How are you kind of looking to find it? Are you looking to find it? Is it like a rom-com in your head and you're just like, I'm just grinding and hustling and trying to find success and you know, bit by bit, I'm going to get my life together and wear plaid during the fall and look cute all the time. Feel put together all the time. Feel emotionally stable. Wouldn't that be a success? So are you looking for it, or are you letting just life happen and you're like, whatever. I'm just doing what I need to do. I am surviving, trying to thrive in the little pockets of thriving that I can. Um, and whatever happens, happens, right? C'est la vie or - what is, c'est la vie? Eso es la vida, I guess in, in Spanish, which doesn't have that same sense as in French, like c'est la vie, whatever. Let's drink wine and eat cheese and not get fat. One point that I wanted to make though, as I'm talking about looking to find success or just letting life happen, is that usually those metas, those objetivos, the goals that we have, and su éxito…
14:49
And whatever success is around that, usually it happens when we're least expecting it. And there's, there's got to be something there. There's got to be something there because, I want you to stay tuned for my next episode with my good friend Jenn, who just does all of the wonderful intuitive work that I think that we all need and no, it's not woo. It's not like, take three crystals and pray to a god and you'll get everything bestowed upon you. It's not that, but it is very much of a getting in tune and really getting in touch, I guess, really starting to recognize, reconocer, just be aware of those moments when we're trying be very tight and very controlling of everything that happens. Or, if we just kind of surrender and we just kind of sit here and go, “You know what? I'm just going to trust whatever crazy-ass universe powers that be are happening here, and I'm just going to stay focused on my certain metas or my certain objetivos right? And then el éxito me encuentra, the success is gonna find me.” So I can have it, tener, but it's not going to become me. I'm not going to make that part of my personality. And I think that there's something to be said there. There is a punto there where success is very much of a nice-to-have, but when we start searching and hunting it down like a need-to-have, and we get very desperate, I think that's when people and humans get uglier. And a lot of what we do around success or how we define it has to do with our own thoughts and expectations about what happens to us, for us, around us because of us. Right? And I've been doing this a ton. My therapist has bestowed upon me an Excel spreadsheet, which if you know me, that is my love language. And we have been working on, as tedious as shit as this is, reframing the negative thoughts that I've been having. And let me tell you, that shit is powerful because we have so many thoughts every single day. I would tell you the number, I don't remember the number cause I'm not good with numbers. I'm better with languages, but just trust me, it is a ton. A shit ton, if you will; that's the scientific term. We have all of these thoughts and whether they have positive or negative connotations, we just don't take the time to realize, we don't take the time to recognize them for the powerful shit that they are. So a lot of work around events and happenings and our own reactions to that and how to be proactive against it has to do with reframing those negative thoughts. Whenever you do have a thought around whatever that it is that you're searching for, that corresponds to some semblance or some definition of success for you, how can you reframe it? How can you make it so it's not the end of the freaking world if you don't get what you want, right when you want it? Maybe there's something bigger at play. And also on the other side, the big fuck ups, the big failures, the big, just fucking catastrophic failures that I think we've all had. (And if you haven't had one, just you wait, because life is going to make sure that everyone has at least one.) What if it's nothing more than an outcome or a result, if it was a quote unquote, lessons learned or challenge or issue?
19:05
Something is always there to either teach us or gift us with that gift of knowledge. Whether we learn from it or not is up to us. And really, it comes down to the emotions and the expectations. Really, what is more frightening to you: having something succeed, or just having the idea of it? And what's going on in tu vida cotidiana, in your everyday life? What is an outcome or a result? No matter if that is good, bad; heads, tails; black, white; yin, yang: how can you carry un poco de orgullo? A little bit of pride, no matter what that outcome or result is. It's really being mindful. It's really tuning in not only to what is happening around you, but also how you're interacting in that space itself. And I know that that sounds woo. And trust me, I get it. It sounds real woo. It sounds like manifesting destiny. It sounds like we're all just going to go into a field in prairie dresses and braid each other's hair and dance around and pray to a pagan god. If that's what you want to do, go for it. I probably won't. Although I do love a good field dance. But it's not necessarily that: it's not Little House on the Prairie meets Brady Bunch meets Cheech and Chong. Although if that's what you want to make it, go for it. However, it is that more of just being more aware that conocimiento or reconocimiento, or just the recognition. The realization of what's happening, not only in our lives, in our own little bubbles, which, burbuja, I'm gonna give you a freebie. That's a bubble. Una burbuja. It's just fun to say. It's not just what's around our own little bubbles, it's also, what's around our worlds? What's in the little bodega of our minds? What's in the corner of our world that we can look at and see: is this something I'm comfortable with? Is this un éxito? Is this success? Or is this un fallo? Is this a failure? And why do I think that? Why do I think that, and how can I reframe it? How can I control some of it? And also, how can I surrender that control? Because life is not meant to be controlled. She is a wild woman. We cannot control her, but we can reframe on how we think about her. (And I'm only saying her because it's la vida en español.) So otra vez, un sustantivo. A noun, el éxito, does not mean exit. Please, for the love of god, stop saying it. Una salida is an exit. We cannot put O on the end of any English word and make it Spanish. Let's all grow up here. But we can, we can have el éxito, we can all have success. Whether we want to aprovechar el éxito, We want to really lean into it and enjoy it, or we want to reframe it. Maybe we want to cambiar un poco of how we think about success. Whatever it is, it all comes from that root where it is nothing more than an end result.
22:57
It is nothing more than a departure of something, and it's really our emotions, and the way that we think, and the expectations that we put on that happening, whatever the happening is, that makes it good or bad; success or failure. So, my challenge for you in these next few weeks is try to find un poco de orgullo, a little bit of pride, wherever you are. If that is on a successful spectrum, if it's on a failure / lessons learned spectrum. If that's just, you know, surrendering or being more mindful, being more aware, being more awake of your world, your pocket of your world, your bubble of your world. Whatever that is, that is my challenge for you is to carry a little bit of pride with you and just start to really kind of lean in to the idea of éxito and I hope that you all have una semana exitosa: whatever and however that means to you. To check out the show notes, transcript, request a word or be on the show, check out Aprovechar.me or Aprovechar Language solutions.com. Until next time, un abrazo fuerte.
24:30
Gracias otra vez and thank you so much for coming along with me on this ride to Una Palabra Sola. Be sure to check out the show notes for additional worksheets and materials. If you have a word that you would like me to review, please let me know at Aprovechar Language Solutions .com. Hasta la próxima vez and until next time.